The comfort of a friend
The one thing I miss most about living in New York City is the camaraderie of my dearest friends. After a horrible work week, it was the norm to have dinner on a Friday night with my Golden Girls. We would stuff our faces and laugh for hours; it was always the solace I needed. I miss the lunches with my work girlfriends and the good laughs after Sunday service with my church sisters. In the almost three years I have been here in Maryland I have been blessed with new friends, but there is something about the comfort of my hometown friends that I miss so often.
Recently while sipping my green tea and catching up on some reading one morning, I received a text that made my soul happy. One of my high school friends sent a text message extending an invitation to dinner. I was ecstatic, we had been trying to coordinate getting together since I relocated closer to Maryland. We were only a little over an hour from each other, but it seemed like 200 miles since our schedules could never connect. My dear sweet friend had left New York years ago and we managed to keep in touch through social media, but it was our hearts desire to spend more time together.
I accepted the invitation and for the next three weeks I wondered what dessert I was going to make, what was I going to wear, what hostess gift was I going to buy for MaryAnn. My husband Martin was even more excited, he had been saying for years he wanted MaryAnn to cook him a good authentic Italian dinner. On the day of our dinner with MaryAnn and her husband, we woke up early like two kids on Christmas. I was so excited I couldn’t wait to get a hug from my beautiful friend. In a season of crazy I needed the comfort of a dear old friend.
The sun was beautiful as we loaded everything into the car, the humidity however was disrespectful. We left early because the route to Northern Virginia was known for heavy traffic, the last thing we wanted to be was late. The ride was beautiful and relaxing as I enjoyed the scenery on a road I had never traveled. We never hit traffic and the time of our invite was 5:30 p.m. When I looked at my watch it was only 5:20. While it’s okay to arrive within 15 after the time of invitation its never good to arrive too early. I asked Martin to slow down a little bit, we don’t want to be too early I thought to myself. He looked at me with the side eye, we were only a block away from MaryAnn’s house. My poor husband pulled over and parked down the street from her house. Yes, we sat in the car killing time, at 5:32 we pulled up to the house.
I had never met MaryAnn’s husband although I remembered when they started dating in high school, as he opened the door and greeted me, I felt like I knew him forever. The best feeling in the world was hugging my beautiful MaryAnn, it was everything I needed, she didn’t change with time and hearing her voice as opposed to reading a text or message on social media was life.
The aroma of dinner cooking was everything and just like no time had passed we sat around a beautiful charcuterie board filled with the best Italian meats and cheeses, eating, and enjoying great conversation. The dinner did not disappoint, the hospitality was so unmatched. As we all shared one common denominator, our upbringing in NYC, we realized that we love our friends in Maryland and Virginia but the comfort of being with our New York friends was the absolute best, it’s always comforting to be in the company of an old true friend, they know your humble beginnings, they don’t care about your status in life, they just love the old soul inside of your that connected as teenagers and as seasoned adults still connects, the comfort of an old friend will always be cherished.
My dear friend, MaryAnn.
Silly Moments
Ice Cream
We lived on the sixth floor of a Lefrak apartment building, it was just my mom, my sister Liwanda and my baby brother Les at the time. The summers were the absolute worst, there was no air conditioning, but my mom was creative, she would pile blankets on the oversized terrace, and we would all sleep out there catching whatever breeze we could. I remember one night we were all in our pajamas, I was ten years old, my sister Liwanda was six years old and our baby brother Les was four years old. My mom told me to help my siblings get their shoes on, and my mom went into her room and put on clothes. It was late, how late I cannot remember but my mom lead us down the long hallway of our apartment building, onto the elevator and down to the basement parking lot. We got into the backseat of her Chevy Monte Carlo and hit the Belt Parkway in Brooklyn. Our eyes lit up when we realized we were in Coney Island.
We could not get out the car with pajamas on, but my mom parked right in front of the ice cream/candy shop. My mother made two trips into the store, she bought Les and Liwanda’s ice cream out in cups and then on her final trip she handed me a soft serve pistachio cone. We all sat in the car enjoying our ice cream and when we finished, we returned to our makeshift beds on the terrace, it was spontaneous and a memory that last a lifetime.
Tonight, when the rain stopped and the end of the tropical storm cleared out of the DMV area, my husband Martin was applying weed killer to the lawn when I came out and sat on the porch, the clouds were moving out and the sunset was beautiful, the humidity was letting up and the night air felt so perfect after such a miserable day. My mind took me back to that Lefrak night and as I watched Martin spray the lawn, I suddenly had the urge to jump in the car and take a ride to the ice cream shop. It was not the best idea as I had spent the last eight weeks eating dairy free, so as I kept negotiating with myself. When Martin finished, I asked him if he wanted to take a ride to get ice cream and he was like sure let us do it. So, with my hair looking crazy, I had no makeup on, I slipped on flip flops, grabbed the car keys and off we went.
Martin drove on the highway; we could see the moon so clear and beautiful. The ice cream shop was lit up, we ordered our sundaes and sat in the car, our favorite love song list playing, people watching and talking until we finished. It was a spontaneous silly move and yes that ice cream sundae blew my calorie count for the day, but it took me back to a happy, a simple time in my life. It was fun, it was a little silly, but we enjoyed the simple moment of joy that taking a car ride and eating ice cream gave us. Perhaps we should have more silly moments, spontaneous moments, more moments that are not strategically planned but free flowing moments of happiness.
My favorite ice cream sundae, loaded with lots of cherries and wet walnuts.
Vacation!
Vacation
We walked into J.F.K. International airport on July 1, 2021, with so much excitement, it did not matter that just to get to the TSA security checkpoint took us an hour. Martin my husband, and I were flying to our happy place, our favorite island in the world Aruba! We were going to celebrate his birthday and our anniversary. The one thing we looked forward to being was doing nothing slow.
In past years once we arrived in Aruba, we would jump up early in the morning and run down to Eagle Beach to get the best cabana. We had our rituals, we had to eat by a certain time, we had to stay on the beach until a certain time, we had to get our Sunday massages, take a drive out to Baby Beach, take a day to just go shopping. This time everything would be so different, the first full day we slept late and took a slow stroll down to the beach. There were empty cabanas, the beach was peaceful and the water warm and clear. It took us only minutes to realize all the things we did in Aruba prior to COVID were irrelevant. We blessed to even feel the sand under out toes.
I remember staring out at the water on the third day, the sun was perfect, my tan was golden, and I felt such a sense of peace. The last time I was in Aruba summer of 2019 I left so sick I did not know if I would ever return. The last time I was in Aruba I still had my mother, my children still had their father, my beautiful young cousin Lachaundra was still alive as well. The last time I left Aruba so sick I could hardly get onto the plane home. In that moment I cried for the changes and realized I needed every moment of this trip to vacate. I rarely checked my social media pages, I explained I had no interest in going live on Facebook. Instead, we had long conversations with each other and random strangers on the beach. We met a couple during dinner one night and we offered to be their tour guide for the rest of the evening, they are our new friends.
Too often we go on vacation and fill our days with endless, tours and activities, I am not knocking the thrills and adventures. Sometimes you need to relax and seize the moment do nothing so you can hear and find new perspective for your life. This trip was food for my soul, it was the place I needed to mind dump, my great grandfather used to say if you are troubled in your spirit you need to cross water. Well crossing water helped my soul, I returned with a new joy. I returned and for the next few weeks I stayed in vacation mode, no matter what task I had to accomplish I did them at my own pace, I no longer want to wait to fly to another country to take vacation. Vacation could be staying in bed and taking a mental health day or getting together with my favorite cousins and laughing. This summer we spent so many more afternoons under our gazebo listening to music. We turned this summer into a vacation and vowed to live a life filled with more slow moments.
HOPE
My mother was beautiful, all my life I was fascinated with how beautiful she was. We were only 20 years apart and, in the end, I realized we grew up together like sisters in some respects even though she was my mother, she had me young and was just trying to find her way through life.
I was super blessed to have my mother for almost 54 years, she was always healthy, strong, and fearless and even in the end of her life she fought to live. So, the day I lost her, the life and wind was sucked out of me and as I look back most days after her immediate passing are just a blur and even now almost 18 months later, I find myself missing her more some days than others.
One morning I was scrolling through Facebook and I saw a post with the word HOPE and some one broke it out into acronyms.
H-hold
O-on
P-pain
E-ends
I saved it to my camera roll and whenever I knew of someone hurting bad, I would send it to them. Now funny is I was still hurting bad myself but, I learned to hang onto hope. I learned that with each day I had to trust God that the worst pain of my life would one day end. Not the love I had for my Mom or missing her but the waking up and crying, the feeling of hopelessness. I do not remember when I finally stopped waking up and crying or when I could share a story about her without falling apart but, I do remember that acronym by heart and I just want to encourage someone who has a broken heart for whatever reason to not give up because if you hold on pain does end, not in our prescribed timing but in God’s.
On kitchen table is the small sign in the blog picture, it is a daily reminder for me as I sip my coffee to never give up hope.
The Rejected Ones!
Be careful who you count out……
The Rejected ones
I am a fussy about the cookies I send out, I mean I will dump an entire dozen if the color is not exactly right to me. My husband caught me throwing a dozen in the garbage and told me to put them on the coffee bar under the glass cake taker. I laughed and he said, “I will take the rejected ones”.
I remember growing up in the seventies and Converse sneakers were the in thing, my Mom could not afford them, so she took me to Alexanders Department store and bought me some that were similar, and I was happy with them until I went to school, and one person looked a little too close and saw the back of the sneaker did not have the Converse emblem. I was taunted day after day, and it took one person to give my sneakers the name “rejects” and it stuck. So, every time I wore them, I knew the taunts were coming. I was the biggest joke in junior high school, and that word would stay with me forever.
It is such a harsh word and used so freely, years ago when you applied for something and was denied they were quick to stamp rejected on your application and even working in welfare for 29 years if you applied for public assistance, we said your case was “rejected”. So, when my husband said he would take the rejected ones it made me suddenly realize even the rejected cookies still had taste to them, they were still edible they just did not meet the Lisa Mclaughlin quality assurance standards. Although I deemed them not good enough to be sold but they really did still have value to someone.
In this life I have befriended those that were rejected by others, years later I still see my skinny legs with bobby socks in those “rejects” sitting alone and feeling sad because someone else took it upon themselves to attach a title on me that was not true. At no time in my life have I ever been rejected by the one who gave me life God, so why let someone else attach a title to me I did not deserve.
Too often we count out the one who God has called and stamp “reject “on them if we do not like them. They could be selling a product or offering a service that we want but because we heard someone else “reject” we go with it. This is written to encourage those who are feeling rejected because a certain individual or group have not put their seal of approval on our work or craft, do not worry you are not rejected by God. He put that gift in your hands, that book in your mind and I do not care who does not give their stamp of approval you are valued and everything about you is good and Godly approved.
Just like the cookies that were not good enough to be sold, they were still delicious. I watched my husband savor those cookies with his coffee and he would look at me and say the same thing girl “don’t throw out those cookies they’re so good”. One morning I craved something sweet, and I went to the rejects on the coffee bar and grabbed me a pecan sandie, that was delicious. I looked at him and agreed this cookie was good and if it had gone out to a customer, they would have enjoyed it and never knew quality control had deemed it not fit for sale because it was slightly browner than the last batch. It made me realize I needed to stop attaching reject on what God has approved, be more careful not reject someone because of the opinion of others and to try to add value instead of decreasing peoples worth with negative titles. In the end I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the eyes of God, I am never rejected.
Seasons do change!
Seasons do change!
It was a mid-March morning; you know the days between the end of Daylight savings time and the joy of seeing daylight until 8:00 p.m. Hearing a bird singing right outside my window had me feeling like maybe, I had one too many melatonin the night before. It was the middle of the night why was a bird singing so happy. I lifted my head just enough to see the clock say 6:00 a.m., I was so confused I tried to curl up and go back to sleep but, lets call her “Birdie” would not stop singing. I thanked the Lord for a new day and the ability to recognize that the season was about to change.
I turned up the heat because season change or not it was 29 degrees according to my weather app and my bedroom was ice cold. I looked again to make sure I saw a high of 70 degrees predicted for the day, you could not prove it by me. I made a point of having faith and believing what I could not see. I hurried through my chores so at the height of the day I could get out and enjoy the warmth I was missing in my life. I walked outside and the warm Maryland air was everything I needed in my soul. I noticed the block was still quiet the kids were still inside being home schooled.
I hit Arundel Mills and was in and out of stores enjoying the warm breeze in between. The sun blinding me and feeling like even though there were 11 days to the official launch of Spring God gave me enough of a glimpse to let me know seasons do change in the natural and spiritual. We had been in the COVID winter abyss for months, hit with storm after storm, still in semi lock down, the winter seemed like it would never end and even though I enjoyed cocooning by the fireplace with my puppy it was time to break out.
In that moment I realized the season of isolation was not meant to destroy me, it was designed to take me to another level. If I had the usual distractions, social invitations, attending every church event, dinner out a few nights a week, a house full of guest every weekend perhaps I would not have launched my website. I realized this season was a time of impartation, and a clear time of separation. I now know without it I would not have moved on to another level of growth. It was on those cold dreary days when we had no choice but to be still, we had time to sort out a clear plan of action for the new year, in addition to what direction to take the business. In the dark season of winter, we figured out how to pull our packaging all together, what should stay on the menu and what to eliminate, we did not realize the dark days of winter helped us find our way. The season was necessary even if it was cold and hard at times, literally and figuratively.
The temperature did hit 70 degrees that day. For a change, I had some free time and just as I was about to sit down and relax my husband yelled out from the porch for me to come and see something. He was laughing so it had to be good, I walked out and saw my sweet young neighbor standing with her two children and a big baby bump. I was so excited to see her and so happy she could fill another bedroom with a sweet baby. Within minutes there were children and families out, skating, pushing strollers, walking dogs, and chatting. A sure sign that the season was about to change even if the warm weather was just a break in winter until the real spring weather kicked in it was a sign of hope that seasons do change, so hold on my friends.
Step up……or Step Out
Step up or Step out
I was home on maternity leave when I was diagnosed with cancer and had to have emergency surgery. Prior to giving birth, I baked cheesecakes for family and friends just for fun. At the advice of my mother-in-law, I started to sell them every now and then. I had a full-time job and never thought they could generate enough income for me to stay home. I needed to stay home and heal, so my Mom took me shopping for supplies and I began to bake individual cheesecakes and generated a surprisingly good income. I loved to bake and ventured into cakes, within a few years I was given an opportunity to bake for a major Soul Food Restaurant in Brooklyn and its sister store which had a café. In the height of my baking and enjoying the extra income, the promotions on my day job caused me to make a hard decision, either I had to take on my business full time or I had to give up the baking business to ensure my children had adequate medical coverage and stability. So, I did what was best for them and just baked as a hobby for the next few years. I would sell for holidays that was it for me, so I thought.
I continued to get promoted and focused on my day job for the next nine years. In the interim, I was creating and baking cookies more than cakes and eventually left cheesecakes alone. Never did I think I would ever be given the opportunity to bake full time again. I was older, the dynamic of baking and selling had changed, social media was the biggest way to network and market, and I was not knowledgeable on all the new stuff.
I began again, by baking cookies and selling them to my friends. I switched my Instagram from a personal page to posting cookies. My oldest son advised me to start a separate page just for my cookies, so I listened. I would sit on the train making my post and would take orders any way I could receive them, text direct messaging, instant messaging, notes left on my desk and emails. Not conventional but, I hustled my orders any way I could. I was back in the baking mode and just as I was getting momentum, I had to stop again.
I had remarried and it was time to relocate to another state, I had to leave my customers, but I had no intentions of stopping my baking for long. When what you do is your passion it does not matter how many times you must step out of the game, the drive to do it is still there even if it lays dormant for 10 years. Your dream is still yours and yours alone.
After settling into my new state, I had the best conversation with an established caterer in my area. She advised me not to be disappointed if the people in this vicinity did not order from me, it was not my product it was the area and I needed to target more urban areas. I clearly understood what she was saying, the few friends I had made loved my cookies but never ordered. When I explained this to her, she told me they would buy cookies from a superstore before they would buy gourmet.
A year later, my son rebranded me and my daughter in law set up my social media accounts, and the page I launched was By Lisa, all things, Food, Home & Lifestyle. The first few weeks, I struggled with content, but I did not stop, I was forced to get creative. I posted a picture of some orange leaf cut out cookies and the reaction was hilarious to me, people wanted to order them. My old customers in New York took a chance on me shipping to them, now I had no clue how to ship cookies, so I googled. I ordered some mailer boxes off Amazon and there I was stepping up to the challenge at my age and it was harder than I thought. Every day we were faced with a new challenge and getting the cookies baked, boxed and to the UPS store was another ridiculous obstacle. I did not have time to bake and stand on a line in UPS.
I had no reason to quit, I was determined to make it work. Our Mom & Pop business was growing, and we hardly had a chance to focus on how to simplify our process. After some quiet time with the Lord, I heard in my spirit something that made me see everything differently. You must step up or step out, but you cannot continue at this level. I shared this with my baby sister, and she encouraged me to open an online store. She encouraged me to get it done and launch it on March 1, 2021, my birthday month. Of course, she suggested this to me on February 26, 2021 leaving no wiggle room. So, I did it. I stepped out on faith and stepped up my game.
The site launched and I have no regrets, I am empowered to grow my business even further. I look back and wonder where I would be had I not stepped out of the race years go. I decided not to look back but to continue to step up because at this age and stage there is no more time to step out and come back in, the momentum is for now. My challenge to you, is do not step out. Instead, be persistent and step up.
JUST FOR YOU……
Just for you
My boys where young Julien was about 12 and Jared about 8 years old when I decided on a cold Saturday morning to ditch the family and go do all the errands solo. It was 6:30 in the morning and my husband at the time and children were in a deep sleep, so I dressed and hit the highway. I blasted my music and did 65 mph down the Southern State Parkway to Roosevelt Field, now Costco and the malls were still closed but I felt like I was breaking free and if I would have stayed in the house a moment longer or spent another Saturday with my all-male entourage, I would have lost it for sure.
First stop was Panera, a good cup of coffee and a toasted blueberry bagel all by myself was everything I needed as a Mom. When the cashier asked will you be adding anything else to this order, I laughed and said, “nope I ditched my family today.” I sat in a warm corner looking out at the main road, sipping my coffee, and adjusting to hearing my own thoughts. I could tell by the increase in traffic that the stores were about to open and sure enough it was 8:00 a.m. I knew the kids were probably wide awake and looking for the traditional Saturday breakfast. I savored the last bite of my chewy blueberry bagel and thought to myself they will figure it out. I headed to Costco shopped in record time and headed to my next stop, the supermarket. Last stop the mall to grab the boys some shirts.
I ended up walking the mall alone for hours, just going in and out of stores, sampling chocolates in Godiva, letting all the ladies in Macy’s spray perfumes on me and trying on shoe after shoe in DSW. I was having such a good time alone, I laughed when the time said 1:30. Let me head home, I hid my chocolates in the bottom of my pocketbook, they were just for me. I am far from selfish, but I was exhausted from taking care of my family wondering if it was ever going to be my time again. I spent a day alone that changed how I operated going forward. It was ok not to go shopping with the entire family, it was okay to eat alone. This took nothing away from my parenting skills or from me being a wife. It was a way to preserve my sanity.
As I drove home with my SUV trunk loaded, I thought to myself what a miracle it would be if I arrived home to a cleaned-out refrigerator, a freshly mopped kitchen floor or perhaps the carpets vacuumed and glass furniture sparkling. I kept on driving and had an epiphany, so I drove to the White Castle Burger Restaurant and grabbed me, yes me (not the family) a lunch meal. I ordered 4 burgers (no worries they are ridiculously small), fries, a coke, and an apple pie. I pulled out of the drive through and sat in the parking lot enjoying my music and my meal. I wanted no evidence, so I dumped my trash wiped my mouth and drove 10 minutes to my house. I pulled in the driveway and honked the horn; my men came out looking like they just woke up.
I directed them to bring in the groceries, I walked into the house and it was their version of clean and that worked for me. I asked if the children if they ate and thankfully, they said yes. They had cereal and toasted bagels and their Daddy told them to clean up so they could get dressed and go to the batting range. They put the groceries away, got dressed and left.
My belly was full, my mind cleared out and I did something just for me. I curled up on my bed and then remembered the stash of Godiva truffles in the bottom of my pocketbook and slid one in my mouth as I made myself comfortable. It is ok to do something just for you while you are raising your minor children, as they are growing older so are you. So, take a break from them, treat yourself to something, even if it is just a tube of lipstick on payday or a slip away to your favorite restaurant and eat alone, if you do not teach your children how to treat you, they will think you have undying energy and have no need for restoration. Do something just for you.
It’s ok to take do something just for you!
Just Enough!
Martin and I were about to take an extended vacation, so we were trying to figure out a Sunday Dinner that would not yield leftovers. I was so used to cooking large portions on a Sunday, it was part of my southern roots. I do not understand the concept of just enough, on any given Sunday we would stop by my Great-Grandparents house on the way home from church, they had a small two-family house over in East New York Brooklyn. They had 14 children during their union, hundreds of grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Now, my Great grandmother never knew who was going to drop by but the one thing she ensured was, there was always Sunday dinner and it was more than enough. Cakes and pies were plentiful so, when I was married and on my own, I picked up the same habit. I cooked more than enough food just in case someone stopped by after church. I settled on some steaks, baked potatoes, and a salad, it was going to be just enough.
I was thinking about my journey as a cookie baker and blogger, I never wanted to do just enough to keep my page going. My intentions have always been to give it my all, I want to inspire and motivate people, the same thing as I aspired to do as I worked for the City of New York Department of Social Services for 29 years, the last 12 years in a supervisor/managerial capacity.
So, to be clear I worked in a Welfare Center, and each morning as the Director I would walk the floors and would speak to everyone, this was my morning routine. I had a clerk who was quite comical and, in the morning, when I greeted her, she would say “you already know I am here just enough to keep my City job”. Now I did not take her very seriously and no matter what I asked of her she complied but, the disturbing part is she retired at the same level she started, no promotions, no aspirations for better, she never aspired for bigger. In the end she did do just enough to keep her job. I never understood the mentality of doing just enough to get a paycheck. My parents taught me to go above and beyond what is expected so you stand out.
It made me think about the first supervisory position I had. It was a tough assignment; I was given the task of supervising all my friends. I was so stressed that I reached out to a Pastor friend of mine and he suggested I feed them. My first reaction was……. not, they were causing my hair to fall out. No way, I was going to do just enough to meet my requirements as their supervisor. Since that was not working, I gave it a try because besides losing my hair, there was nothing else I had to lose. I treated my staff to some cookies, soda ad chips one Friday afternoon and I declare you would have thought I gave them gift cards to Macy’s. Their attitudes changed for the better. I felt a little sense of peace and we became a cohesive team. This led to me being recognized by the Director of the center because we exceeded all expectations, we met our deadlines early and went home on time.
As a result of not doing just enough, I was offered a promotion a few months later, which lead to another promotion a year later. Then another promotion two years later, then a promotion into a management position a year after that. Before I knew it, I was the Director of the very Welfare Center I started in as an Eligibility Specialist. I now understand just how important it is to not just do enough to meet the requirements, those who do exceedingly above what they are asked are noticed. The schoolteacher who stays behind to help the failing student, the Army Sergeant that will not give up on a new private. Those who do more than enough are eventually rewarded, it may not be in the way we imagine but in due season those that do more than enough are blessed. I challenge you to not do Just Enough.
Creative Space
Creative Space
When we moved into our house there was a small room right off the garage that we designated to be the “office” since Martin worked from home a lot. At the time I was newly retired and just finding my way in a new state and aside from mailing out a bill or two I really did not require a designated workspace. As time moved on, I took some online classes and would use “the office” more often, you know where I am going with this one. Slowly but surely, it was no longer “the office” and became Martin’s office. I took a hint and found myself a real comfy place to work, the kitchen table.
The kitchen table had the best view of the back yard; in the summer, the butterflies and rabbits were such a beautiful sight. I was good, I could see the television and the snacks were accessible. There was just one problem it seemed like I could not get cranking in the creativity department until late in the afternoon, so by the time I was in the creative zone Martin would come home from work and the table was full of books, journals, snacks, laptop, and iPad. Martin never complained but I knew it had to look crazy to walk into every day.
The builder by law had to leave one room in the basement unfinished, we toyed with the idea of making a mini movie theater, but we knew it would not get much use, so the room sat empty for a year. One night my Mom and sister were hanging out with me in Maryland and at the time I was preparing to host a Women’s Retreat. Out of nowhere my sister said “Lisa I see women coming to you for guidance and you are going to need a closed space. In the next moment Martin walked in and said take the unfinished room and make it your office. I was so excited I called someone in for a quote with a swiftness, the room was completed within two weeks, it was a vibrant orange my favorite color, I found some great furniture online and there you have it Lisa had her own office. Problem solved right? Wrong, for whatever reason maybe the lack of windows and natural light I found it so hard to write or study in that space. I could not create in that space and it was simply crazy to me.
One afternoon my Mom was relaxing on the chaise lounge near the fireplace and I did not want to be far from her, so I set up at the kitchen table and without any hesitation I began to write and create something I wanted to share with the ladies at the retreat. I mentioned to my Mom that I just could not create in the basement and with the simplest statement backed by wisdom she said, “Lisa the walls close your thoughts in, there are no windows, you can create here because this an open space and your mind is free to flow.”
In that moment I realized I was so caught up in having an office and a designated space that I really did not need. I needed to find the right creative space regardless to the structure, I was confining my thoughts and wasting a lot of time and energy. So, let me make you laugh, I will write anywhere on anything. I have blogs in the notes of my iPhone, if a piece of mail is laying on the kitchen table and I feel inspired I will scribble on it in the middle of baking a cake. I will see something that inspires me in the supermarket and hold up the aisle trying to get part of my thought out. A creative space is anywhere you feel inspired, artistic, or innovative. The picture attached to this blog was captured from across the room by my husband, I was doing admin stuff for my page snuggled under my favorite blanket in my favorite spot, it was the spot that inspired me in that moment, my new mantra.
Think Bigger!
Think Bigger!
I have been running a side dessert business for over 20 years, so packaging cakes for customers to pick up locally was no problem in New York City. It was when I relocated three years ago to Maryland that I found myself in a conundrum, do I give up my passion or reinvent. I chose to reinvent and while my specialty is southern cakes, I focused on what I could ship a little easier and that was cookies. So, at the end of 2020 I began to ship, at first there were occasional orders but overnight they became more consistent.
I invested in some good mailer boxes enough to accommodate two dozen cookies, figuring no one is going to order more than two dozen at a time, right? After all, I was just getting my website up and was barely posting cookie pictures on social media. Then I started doing something that started as an impromptu video to share on a Friday, my own social media commercial. This made such a difference in my orders. I was still good though because, I was averaging two dozen at a time. Wrong! The next order came in a few days before Christmas and of it was for three dozen cookies. With no time to order a new box for an affordable price, and a long list of orders to fill, I was standing in the middle of my kitchen looking crazy. I prepared the cookies and put them in two individual boxes and was prepared to ship them separately when a delivery came in a good, unmarked box. We recycled a box that had no logo and it held everything. I needed to order another box!
The next day I placed an order for a box that could hold three dozen, problem solved we are good right? Wrong! I forgot that I prayed and asked God to enlarge my territory, so within a few hours the next order came in for four dozen cookies and I was shocked when an order came in from Texas. I once again stood in the middle of my kitchen looking crazy, I had a box that could hold three dozen cookies and a four-dozen order. I prayed and God delivered on his end, the problem was I was so busy baking and filling orders, I was not thinking big enough. Keep in mind this all happened since November of 2020. So today I laughed and said God I get it! The growing pains are all part of the labor process, but quitting is not an option! I had to think bigger, just go for the bigger boxes and believe your going to fill them by faith, not think small and what I can handle!
Hiatus
Hiatus
I was moving with a swiftness, every moment of my morning counted. I was a baker on a mission, I had 13 dozen cookies to get to UPS before the last pick up of 4:00 p.m. My cookies contain no artificial ingredients and for me to ship them, I would bake them, cool them down and package them all within hours so my customer received a nice fresh batch. I was watching the clock so I could get them baked and boxed.
In between baking, my breakfast of convenience was a chocolate protein shake that I would literally take a big sip and move onto the next task. I was praying it would give me the burst of energy I needed because I was giving up coffee for just a little while it was becoming a god for me. I felt like if I did not have it by a certain time, I would shrink up like Evaline in the WIZ.
Within a 30-day period I went through a rebranding, I had launched a new page, a website and additional life coaching clients, and while I was handling it all I was relying on the wrong things to give me strength. I thought if I did not start my day with a super chocolate protein shake, I could not function. I then followed the shake two hours late with a super mug of strong coffee. These solutions were temporal and not sustainable.
“Perhaps this was not the time to give up coffee” I thought to myself. The aroma from the pot my husband just made had me seriously rethinking my decision now. I had cookies cooling, a packaging station set up, and my last batch going in the oven when I realized I did not need caffeine I needed a hiatus. A time to retreat and refresh, spend a little quiet time with God, relax and laugh a little.
I was moving so fast, I had to take a moment to get focused so that I could work more efficiently. I shut everything down for a few days. Not a cookie. Not a coaching session Not a tip recorded. Absolutely nothing. To make it even better, my husband and I hit the road for a nice long day trip, just some good music and laughs.
Now, do not think my hiatus was long. It did not go on for weeks, it was just a couple of days. In those two days, I settled down enough to realize I could simplify my life so I could continue to do what I loved...helping others. I had to help myself first and therefore I had to stop and write about this. It is okay to get off the express train and switch to the local, especially if you can get a seat. You see I will always be a N.Y.C girl at heart and the A train was always jammed packed but faster. I would cram in just like everyone else and be miserable most of the time with someone’s hot breath in my face. One day I realized I could adjust my schedule and take the local C train instead. New York City folks tend to do everything with speed, and it is not always a good thing because we tend to miss out on a lot.
So, I have incorporated coffee back into my life a couple of days a week and it is no longer a god, instead I enjoy it for the flavor. I say no more often, and I pay attention to the warning signs of exhaustion. I am quick to recognize that going on a 100 for too long is too depleting. I am true to all my assignments but…...I am quick to take a hiatus when needed!
Lightweight
Lightweight
I decided to change my life and my relationship with food at the most inopportune time. While everyone else was packing on the 2020 quarantine pounds I decided to do the opposite. Now I am no champion at this great feat that I have taken on but the weight has shed slowly. The good news is I have not put one pound of the 15 pounds I lost back on, so I feel like a superstar at this moment. My routine was a simple...30-minute cardio workout each morning, replaced breakfast with a protein shake and I decided to lift a few weights totaling 10 pounds. You can laugh if you want but I was impressed with myself. In the beginning I struggled, but eventually I had my routine down.
As I navigated this journey, I hit a plateau and I did everything short of eating just veggies and fish to upping my water game and not sitting still unless absolutely necessary to get the darn scale to move. After a consultation with my nutritionist, she suggested I take advantage of the one free session of personal training that the program offered. So I did, and as a treat to myself, I signed up for four free sessions. I was going to break that plateau. Of course, my trainer was a petite little beast who looked harmless until she started giving out commands. I was with it though and could keep up with everything she said.
It was all fun and games until she really paid attention to me lifting those five pound weights in action! Yes, your girl could lift them above my head, I could walk up and down the gym with them, like it was nothing. Oh yes, I was impressed with myself, however...she was not. “Ms. Lisa, can I ask you something?”. “Sure,” I said, swinging those weights around like supergirl. “Can I ask you how long you have been lifting those five-pound weights for a combined total of ten pounds?” I was still in the zone swinging those little weights around like I was really doing something, “Since August”, I said. It was now the end of October as I responded. The look on her face was like “Are you kidding me?” She immediately walked over to the weights and handed me ten pounds for each hand. I knew I was in trouble; I began to sweat and feel all sorts of pain. She went on to explain the weights were now too light for me and no challenge. She admonished me to put them away and use only the ten-pound weights I have at home.
The workouts over the next few weeks were excruciating and I put my all into them. The morning I got on the scale and said goodbye to the plateau I literally ran through the house. I could not be a light weight anymore. I also realized this applied to so many other areas of my life and my page By Lisa, all things Food, Home and Lifestyle. It was safe to just post some tips on a Tuesday and a Blog on a Thursday, but I was not a lightweight anymore. I had to take on more and do bigger things. It is so easy to reach for the things you can handle or manage but, the real challenge is when you do not operate in your own strength and go for the hard things. It will show you just how strong you really are as you achieve higher goals. Why be ordinary when you can be extraordinary? Do not be a lightweight on this journey called life, you will end up so much stronger!
Mindfulness
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a word that was overused in 2020. I can honestly tell you prior to this year it was a word that I do not recall using in my vocabulary. Yet, as the year has ended it is a word that drove my life all year.
A few months ago, I signed up with NOOM a weight loss program that teaches you to change your mind about food. During the first few weeks this was a word that was ingrained in my brain and I can tell you it was very successfully done. Before I decided to be mindful about my food decisions, I would sit and eat a pound of Turkish pistachios in one sitting ingesting 2,720 calories, then wonder why I was gaining weight.
In addition to following NOOM, I was also seeing a nutritionist every other week. During my first visit to the office, I was waiting to be seen and looked up on the wall at a poster about mindfulness and decided maybe I needed to be mindful about a lot more than food. Suddenly, a word I never used before was driving my life and all my decisions.
I have always been mindful about the music I listen to and the things I watch, I am quick to guard my heart and if something does not feel right I back away. It is so easy to get caught up in something you never intended to, like scrolling through negative post on social media and next thing you know you are in an argument with someone you do not even know.
Mindfulness is being aware and fully conscious of the state you are in, it is all about being present in that moment. I have found myself in more dilemmas because I said yes when I should have said no. If I were conscious in the moment, I would not have later found myself trying to find my way out of a situation I never had to be in.
I now realize when I am not mindful, I talk too much and give up too much information. The more I think about it I realize being present in the moment is something I have forgotten to do too often. I have planned to be more mindful in all areas of my life, I listen attentively when someone is talking to me. In the past as a multitasker, I do too much at one time and in some respects, it works for me but in others it distracts me from hearing and appreciating the people around me. I learned to be mindful about appreciating all the loved ones in my life because in a moment that warm hug will no longer be felt. I want to be more mindful of other peoples feeling and this is my daily prayer, “Lord I don’t want to hurt anyone intentionally or unintentionally, help me and show me how to be mindful of other feelings”.
I hung out with some young people lately and instead of really enjoying the food they spent so much time posing for pictures and “doing it for the gram” they totally missed the opportunity to eat their food hot! I laughed when they said this is good, but it is cold, well it was hot when they served it twenty pictures ago. It made me realize something we are so social media oriented we are not even mindful of the real blessings we have been afforded. We are posting for attention and not giving some of the best moments of our lives, attention. I am over it and I will declare 2021 the year of being present in each moment!
Christmas Spirit?
Christmas Spirit?
I drive my husband crazy with my love for Christmas movies. I can watch them whether it is 95 degrees or twenty with a few inches of snow. The ones on the Hallmark channel annoy him the most and I think it's so funny. So, when they announce that the season for Christmas movies is starting at the end of October, I get a warm and fuzzy inside. I had been enjoying them for weeks when I realized they were not getting me into the Christmas spirit. At least, not the Christmas spirit as the world would think, I wasn’t inspired to make a Christmas list or even think about shopping for anyone else.
We have a Thanksgiving tradition that goes like this, the day after, whomever stayed overnight has to help bring up the Christmas trees and decorations. The biggest tree gets erected, and I would begin to decorate the fireplace while everyone headed into the streets to shop or do whatever. This year was no different, the tree went up and I just stared at it like, I am not in the mood. Maybe another day. Well, other days turned into a week later the bins were still stacked high and I was walking past everything like it was going to magically decorate itself. I turned to a Christmas movie for inspiration and realized that I was watching out of habit. I felt no Christmas spirit, my soul was dry, a little too much heartache to feel “the spirit”.
All the things that signified Christmas could not take place this year. Suddenly, I realized how much I missed our annual trip to Tobyhanna, where we would do our Christmas shopping and definitely catch our first bit of snow. In this unusual year of 2020, I realized just how irrelevant those rituals and traditions were for me in this season.
The earthly rituals were superficial but, demonstrating the love of Christ is a daily walk not a seasonal experience. I realized, I had the Christmas spirit even if I never decorated the tree.
The Christmas spirit is demonstrating the love of Christ as my daily assignment and that is so much bigger than just being jolly for the month of December. In that moment, I felt my joy return and my spirit filled.
Eventually, we decorated the tree. Yes, I said we, for the first time my husband helped and when we were done, we even had an official tree lighting. This year I skipped helping with decorating the outside of the house and let Chevy Chase Jr. do his thing. I took the time to not just bake Christmas cookies for others but create a new one that I am so in love with.I decided to enjoy every moment of the season. I am grateful that I know Jesus for myself and the joy of the Lord is always with me.
Merry CHRISTmas
Why Not? !
Why not?!
I received a surprise video chat one night from my friend Andrea. To see her face after so many years brought me such joy. We laughed and began to share all our recent blessings. The conversation was so enthusiastic as we shared where we were in our lives and how trusting God and probably looking crazy to others landed us in a pretty good position. I am usually guarded when it comes to sharing some of the good things in my life prematurely but talking to Andrea, I had peace. God used her to say the simplest words to me...“why not?” Now this was not in the form of a question like…”Why not buy that new car?” It was more like…”You seem surprised that you are so blessed but why not? Why not you?”
I responded with such enthusiasm when I said, “Girl, I am going to blog about that statement…”Why not?!” She laughed and said, “go ahead”. So here I am thinking about all the visions and dreams I had for myself. Despite the path that landed me at this moment, I asked myself…”why not me?” Why not follow a dream or vision? Why not write a book or two? It is not for me to decide God’s timing. I could still enjoy the things I could not do as my younger self. There is no age limit on dreaming.
For months after I retired, I tried to find my niche. It did not take me long to realize watching Hallmark movies all day was not what I envisioned when I thought about the next segment of my life. So here I am, as I sit writing my weekly blog on an extremely rainy afternoon by a nice toasty fire. I was going to leave that detail out but, why not share the blessing I am loving? Seeing other people living a blessed life makes us realize our dreams keep us thinking “why not?” How crazy was I to launch a page about food, home & lifestyle? I had no clue how to execute the content that I had in mind. Why not trust the process? Why not believe that you can do the unimaginable? Why not take all the things that make me Lisa and use them to encourage, motivate and empower someone else?
The first video I posted just happened to fall on a Tuesday and I remember sitting for about 15 minutes trying to come up with something catchy to call it all I could come up with was “Tipping Tuesdays”. Do you know the Bible says that, “God will take the foolish things to confound the wise.” These simple tips I share every week...people are enjoying and implementing to suit their needs. I found my niche. I am having fun. I’m not sure where this journey will take me but one thing I don’t ask anymore is, “why not?” as in “why not me?”
Never Used….
Never Used
I make no excuses for loving to shop. My BFF and I have a running joke about having nice things and never paying full price for them. I remember spending a Saturday shopping at my favorite shoe warehouse thinking each pair I tried on was more fabulous than the pair before. Then, I found a print pair that I lost my mind over. They were patent leather print...I mean the swirls of green, orange and red made the shoes an absolute conversation piece. I decided to go home and find something to wear them with to church in the morning. NOPE! I was not the “sneaking stuff into the house and hiding” kind of girl. I worked...so I shopped. Take note, my boys came first but there was room for me in the budget. I also decided if I should drop dead, no woman was going to find anything in my closet that was never used...not a sister, not a niece, not the next wife. My mantra became: buy it and wear it or buy it and use it. This sounds funny to me as I write this.
I lived in my previous house for 20 years and when it came time to pack it up, I am happy to report, I found very few things that were never used or worn. I took inventory often and gave away all I could on a regular basis. I realized after living in my new house for two years, I had picked up a bad habit of eating off paper plates and drinking out of plastic cups. I looked up one day and realized my dishes were never used. My drinking glasses were never used. So, I said to myself, “Girl you prayed for these things when you were young...to have matching silverware and dishes and you wait until now to not use them or enjoy them?”
The real “whoa” moment, was when a friend of mine went to an estate sale and spoke to a distant relative of the owner. They shared she had so many beautiful things but never used them. She came home with beautiful china at $1.00 a plate. It was as if they had no value. They only had value to the original owner who never used them, herself. So I ask, why do we store up treasures on earth that we cannot take them to Heaven? If God blesses us to own them whether they are a gift or a purchase, surely we should use them or at best...give them away to someone who might need them. I immediately changed my thinking back to my original mantra. It's so easy to get off track.
I made myself laugh one day wondering if I would be questioned about this at the “pearly gates”. “Lisa, you had coats you seldom wore. Why did you eat off of paper plates and I blessed you with dishes?” Bigger than that...even as I typed this blog, I wondered what I was going to say when God asked me why I never used all of the gifts he bestowed upon me. I wrote a list of what I knew were gifts He gave me. Some might seem trivial if I shared them with you but they were still my God given gifts. I decided to make a conscious effort to share and use all of my gifts with the same enthusiasm I do when I buy a new coat or a new pair of shoes. I decided...if my gift helped one person, I would feel better than not helping someone else on this journey called life. I don’t want to leave this earth with anything I’ve never used.
Road Trip
Road Trip
When my husband announced he was going to take a six-hour drive to see his Mom, I was happy for him. His annual trip in June had been cancelled and now it was the end of October and I could tell he really missed her. I encouraged him to go and I immediately started thinking of all the things I could accomplish with the house totally empty. I could host a girl’s night with some of my friends on the block. That was my first option. I would spend one day in my pajamas binge watching Christmas movies. One thing I knew for sure...I was NOT cooking dinner!
With the excitement of having some alone time, I also realized I missed his Mom too and I should really make the trip to Ohio with him. As much as I wanted the alone time, in this season, family over everything. I didn’t mention I wanted to join him on the trip right away. I didn’t want to get his hopes up if I could not finish all my work for the upcoming week. Instead, I worked hard without him knowing. I completed all my tasks and over dinner that night I told him I wanted to go. He looked surprised and said, “Come on let us go!”
Keep in mind, I work from home, literally. My home is where I create tips, recipes, and feel inspired. I wondered if I was really making a good decision to go away when I was still overwhelmed with finding my footing on my new venture. Don’t laugh but...I packed up my iPad Pro and my laptop. Delusionally thinking, I even grabbed a blanket I was crocheting. I tossed it in my closet over the summer and I really wanted to finish it. I figured I would give my husband some space and designated Sunday for him to enjoy just his Mom and brothers without me.
When Sunday came it went just as I wanted...quality breakfast time with my husband, a quick trip to pick up some dishes I wanted for one of my segments (still working), and a sandwich so I wouldn’t be hungry while in the room. Your girl was good. I found myself comfy on the chase lounge with my afternoon tea, a Christmas movie, and my favorite lounge clothes on. No...I was not home, but I trusted that if God allowed me to get on the road, HE was going to ensure I would find some inspiration. So, when I told my baby sister what my afternoon plan was, she sent me a text saying this…” You will relax in the room and be inspired by the Ohio Vibes!” I smiled and truly thought to myself ,”I hope so”.
I sat watching the rain pour and I promise you, it was such a productive few hours! I had been struggling with some editing software and no one was available to help me on a regular basis. It was something I needed to master. I had been praying and asking God to help me. In my alone time, His response was so simple...Google! I laughed because if I had not been so busy, I might have thought of that simple answer. I studied for the next few hours. There were so many simple solutions for my problems but I was just too distracted with working in my house to even think. Without the distractions of my usual environment, God showed me what I needed to do.
I have learned that obedience is better than sacrifice. I think of how I added value to my Mother-in-law by making the trip. That was a blessing I did not see coming. The road trip was God’s way of answering my prayers and showing me that His blessings are infinite. I was on an assignment and if I allowed him to navigate my journey, a simple road trip could be so inspiring. I was able to go shopping, something I could hardly find time for at home. I wrote a few blogs. I had a good time with my Mother-In-love and I rested.
Perhaps the biggest lesson was...step away, take the trip, go see your loved ones and give everything to God.
Cookie Cutter!
Cookie Cutter!
Recently, I noticed a trend on one of my favorite craft sites. Everyone was making leaf shaped cookies. I was fascinated with so many of the vibrant colors and the artistry of the detailed decorating. I decided to order myself a leaf shaped cookie cutter. I wanted to try my hand at making some. I knew I could never decorate them like the fancy bakers, but one thing was for sure, they would taste amazing.
Not too long ago, I ordered some of the prettiest cookies you’ve ever wanted to see and while attending the party I bought them for, I heard what sounded like a toddler spitting out bad food. I turned around to see my friends two-year-old yell ” Yuk” this cookie is so nasty!” I thought to myself, “no way!” So, I took the remaining cookie from his hand and tried it myself. Standing in front of everyone, I wanted to spit my cookie out too!!!
I always wanted to make fancy cookies but then I realized my gift is to make tasty rich, buttery, flavorful cookies. Decorating is just not my thing...not to say that all fancy cookies do not taste good because I have had some beautiful and tasty ones. The thing I thought about when the cookie cutter arrived is, I am no cookie cutter girl. I do not follow trends; I am authentically Lisa. What God has gifted me to do, I do to the best of my ability. I know how to stay in my lane and be me. While all the cookie cutters are out there, I set the trend for me! This picture shows my attempt at making the fancy cookies and while they do not look fancy, I promise you they were delicious! Just be you!
Fired up!
Fired up!
I set out each and every day with great intentions. At the end of most days, I have completed my targeted daily goals. Let us keep it real for a moment...on the days that I do not, I always go back and ask myself “why?” Now do not misunderstand, I don’t mentally attack myself for not being able to get it all done but I keep it real and ask myself questions that make me laugh. I’ll ask myself things like, “Did you scroll through IG too much?” Maybe I shouldn’t have talked to one of my sisters for two hours but, they are my favorite girls and when we get going our mouths do not stop! It’s probably why most days we text but, again being real we will text for 30 minutes straight.
Whatever the issue, I find it hard to get myself fired up some days, no matter how quick I get out the bed and work out. At times, I just cannot be productive. Even as I write this blog my baby sister sent me a text and I happily stopped writing to see what was up.
In that moment I have learned to retreat and do something else productive. I realized it’s okay to switch my Monday goals to Tuesday goals if I don’t have a critical deadline. I am more responsible than that. The thing is, I have given myself permission to wait until my heart and spirit are fired up about something to proceed. So, in the interim, I will go bake instead of writing. Today I am supposed to be filming two “Tipping Tuesdays” segments and I decided to say “forget about it.” Instead, I parked myself near one of the most intriguing spots in my house, the fireplace and relaxed. At that moment it hit me! Let me do what I can, not what I want. At that moment I was in the mood to write and suddenly I was fired up and writing.
We must give ourselves permission to not always move on a 1,000 percent. It’s OK to sit and change your script. Do not force what is not in God’s timing for you. Go with what has you fired up now and you will be more inspired to do it better and not begrudgingly.